Deciding between an Intimate Wedding or an Elopement?

As I state on my website, the word “elope” comes from the Anglo-French “aloper,” meaning “to abduct, run away.”  But not mean "escape" as in "let’s escape from it all," but rather "let’s grab the keys from the orderly and make a break for it!"

The idea of elopement evokes star-crossed lovers, a moonlight rendezvous, and running away together. Because one of my core values as a photographer is freedom, elopements and intimate weddings align with what I love about capturing your love: the joy of the connection between two people that transcends all else and how freeing tying the knot with the right person can be.

But what’s the difference between an elopement and an intimate wedding? And how do you know what’s right for you? I’m so glad you asked! Before we get into the nitty gritty details, some things to keep in mind when planning your ceremony and making your decision are

1. Number of guests (if any)

2. Budget

3. What YOU want out of the “happiest day of your lives!”

Elopements

Traditionally, elopements are just the two people getting married, an officiant if needed, and a photographer. In our case, elopements are when you and your partner run away to your favorite place to get forever hitched to your favorite person and do whatever pleases you on YOUR day.

Some couples also include a witness, and some choose to have just themselves and a photographer. This is the biggest difference between an elopement and any kind of wedding; elopements have no “guests” per se, while intimate weddings can have a few, no more than 50. Weddings where you can “marry yourselves,” otherwise known as “self-solemnizing” or a “Quaker marriage,” have gained popularity over the years, and for good reason; they allow for the most intimacy and privacy and can usually end up being the least-stressful day. However, these require a special license and are only legal in certain states. Colorado being one of those, and your dog can sign your marriage license 👀

Elopements are the best ceremony options for those with anxiety, those who don’t want to be emotional in front of everyone, or those couples who just want to keep things more private. They’re much less formal and don’t require anyone to host, so the pressure is off! The pressure to break the bank on bouquets and catering is also off, so while some chose a more expensive destination elopement, the budget for elopements, in general, is typically much lower than any other style of wedding ceremony.

Person count: <10.

Love count: >infinity.

Intimate Weddings

An intimate wedding is typically a “normal” wedding day with a smaller guest list. In lieu of the giant banquet hall and generic chicken + potatoes meal, you’ll most likely opt for a smaller location and a guest list of maybe one or two dozen people, hence the reason why intimate weddings grew in popularity during the COVID-19 outbreak.

This ceremony option is best for those who want just a few selected friends and family to be there with them to celebrate their day. While the intimate wedding tends to be more formal than the elopement, the location is often just someone’s backyard or a much more casual venue, and does involve hosting. I love intimate wedding days because you have a bit more flexibility to spend your budget on exactly what YOU want with slightly more traditional elements. In our case, intimate weddings are when you celebrate your nuptials and pledge your love to your partner with those who are closest to you.

Person count: <50.

Love count: >all the moons and all the stars.

Deciding

I really can’t stress this enough; both of these are great options. If you’re trying to make the decision between them, imagine yourself having each of these. Or do you want a quick ceremony just between you and your partner? Or do you want to find a venue to host your day? If you have always dreamed of a traditional wedding but it seems out of your price range, compromise with an intimate (or, “micro”) wedding and take from the best of both worlds.

If you feel like having a truly private celebration of your love, the best choice for you would be to elope.

I personally love both of these because of how LGBTQ+-friendly they are, which aligns with a brand value of mine that is near and dear to my heart; inclusion. Love belongs to everyone, and, therefore, should include everyone. As we, unfortunately, live in a world where not everyone shares those same sentiments, private ceremonies away from the world were always popular among the LGBTQ+ community, as they removed the pressure to validate love in a way that pleased the society around it. These small, intimate ceremonies continue to be a popular choice for that reason.

I hope to be there to capture every second of the love any two people share. There’s a good reason why respect is so important to me, it’s because I respect your right to privacy and want to help you maintain that on a day when so many people may try to encroach upon it. If you foresee family members interrupting a private day, that’s another reason I encourage couples to look into options like elopements and micro weddings.

As always, I look forward to capturing your love story with the joy it deserves! If you have any questions, reach out to me on my website, I’d be happy to chat and ease your worries. 🫶🏻